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| Love doesn't have to be complicated unless you want it to be |
People (mostly non-vegetarians) have asked me why I chose to date a non-vegetarian although I abstain from eating flesh. I tell them it's the person, not the dietary preference and that's the truth.
One "auntie" figure even suggested that I "change him" into a vegetarian later in the relationship, to which I responded by smiling (not a little uncomfortably). But the reality is, I've been vegetarian for over a decade now and nothing's about to make me change my lifestyle, so why should I expect my boyfriend to change his?
People do change over time, of course. This doesn't however mean that you should start out thinking that you can be the catalyst of change. Life doesn't work that way. Just because you are vegetarian doesn't make it right for you to manipulate meat-eaters to your way of thinking and living. The only thing you'll succeed in doing is ruining what could be a great relationship.
Of course, you could be persistent and chose to date only vegetarians. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. There are more female than male vegetarians, which makes it hard to find a male vegetarian to date. And even if you're lucky enough to meet a single vegetarian, there's no guarantee that you will be compatible in other ways. So many of us decide to take the plunge and date non-vegetarians.
The problem with this is that you have to "endure" the day-to-day realities of dating a meat-eater, especially during meal times. So as a vegetarian, how do you learn to live with it? Here are three ways that have worked for me:
Be realistic. Like I mentioned earlier, don't try to change him or her. Remember that dietary preference is not a deal breaker. If it helps, make a list of all the good qualities your other half possesses. If that fails, ask yourself if you would be willing to change your dietary preference for your other half? If that doesn't work, perhaps you're better off dating a vegetarian.
Stand your ground. Be prepared for your other half to ask you why you are vegetarian or why you won't eat fish occasionally. The natural response is to get indignant or defensive, but please don't. Often these questions are the result of ignorance or just plain curiosity. Gently (but firmly) explain why you feel so strongly about vegetarianism and why you won't change.
Bend a little. Meal times can be stressful for vegetarians when they're sitting across the table from a plate of meat. Be the bigger person: suggest restaurants that serve vegetarian and non-vegetarian options instead of always insisting you go to an all-veg restaurant. Forcing your significant other to eat vegetarian meals all the time is not particularly endearing. If the thought of kissing your date after a meal is unbearable, ask him or her to eat a mint or brush his or her teeth before kissing you.
Remember: love isn't complicated, people make it so.
